Mafia Wars Maniac: Mafia Wars - A Day In The Life...

Monday, January 24, 2011

Mafia Wars - A Day In The Life...

Thanks to Mr X for bringing this to my attention..

Please check it here on Zynga Forum board titled : A Day In The Life...

I will paste the story here originally posted by this mafia friend..

A day in the life...
"Heys, Looie..
"Yes, boss?"
"Fatbutted Bob has stolen from me..go whack him."
"Can't boss, he's in the hospital."
"Did someone hit him?"
"No boss, he's overworked."
"Well, go whack him there."
"Can't boss, he's not healthy."
"Should be easy to whack him then."
"No boss, he's well protected by nurses and doctors."
"Then get him when he's working or out robbing."
"Can't boss..he doesn't have to leave the hospital to work or rob."
"How does he do that?"
"Not sure boss but everyone does it."
"So no one can be attacked?"
"Pretty much, boss..."

"What, exactly, do I pay you for, Looie?"
"Well, boss.. I get beaver skins .... and I bake a mean cake."
"You kill beavers?"
"I don't actually kill the beaver..I chop down a tree, remove the stump and there's a pelt."
"That's all??"
"It's not as easy as you would think, even though I find the pelt. I can't get the pelt unless I leave it and retrace my steps to where I removed the stump."
"Why don't you just take the pelt when you find it?"
"When I try that, I end up in a blizzard and I have to go back, and retrace my steps, anyway."
"What the heck are they for...!"
"Well boss, the pelts are used to build Bighorn Sheep, ATV's and throwing axes."
"How do you build a Bighorn Sheep with a beaver pelt...?...Why do I even need Bighorns?!?
"Well boss, it can beat a hippo."
"What?"
"It's complicated, boss."

"You bake cakes?"
"Yes, boss....for the flambe torch."
"Flambe torch?'
"Yes boss, so we can be stronger and beat more mafia."

"Unless, they're overworked."
"Yes, boss...."

Well, go kill someone!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Can't boss..."

"All overworked?"
"Yes, boss."

"That's it.. I'ma gonna go to spend some time in my villa."
"Can't Boss..not finished"
"Well, go ask our Italian neighbors for the parts we need..and finish it"
"Can't boss, they've started ignoring your requests for parts. A lot of them say they're tired of your constant begging and don't appreciate you paying them back with truckloads of Spam."
"We don't give them anything else?"
"Not really....We can give them what they ask for..to a point. And we can send them gifts, if we don't know what they want..but only one per person with a limit of 30."
"What kind of gifts?"
"Garden shovels, daisies, coffins, mulch...things like that."

"So..Looie... Everyone's dead or in the hospital but me. I win, right?"
"Not exactly, boss they can pay their hospital bill, kicka you butt and go back to the hospital."
"But I have Bighorn Sheep.."
"Yes, boss but they have tons of Turkey Vultures and a Centipede."

"Looie, What the hell are you wearing?"
"Experimental Exosuit.."
"It looks ridiculous, what's it for?"
"Don't really know but it will protect me against nearly all weapons.."
"That's great, where's mine?"
"Uh... you get a monocle, boss."
"You get a robot suit that defends against nearly all weapons and all I get is a monocle?"
"It's badder than the suit, boss."
"So, my monocle can beat your suit?"
"Well..no."
"Your suit can't beat the monocle, then."
"Actually, it can, boss."
"and the monocle is badder?"
"Yes, boss..if you're attacked"
"....except by you...Right Looie?"
"uhhhh....."

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NOISE!?"
"Dre, boss..."
"WHAT??"
"DRE!!
"WHAT THE HELL IS A DRE..!!?"
"ACTUALLY, THREE DRES BOSS..THEY'RE OLD RAPPERS."
"WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM?"
"THE NEIGHBORS SENT THEM BECAUSE WE SENT THEM TRUCKLOADS OF SPAM."
"THOSE BASTARDS!!!"

"....MAKE IT STOP, IT SOUNDS LIKE AN AUCTION IN A BASS DRUM!"
"...BUT THE CD IS ONE OF YOUR BEST WEAPONS..."
"TURN IT OFF!!!, EVERYONE IS IN THE HOSPITAL..I DON'T NEED A DAMN WEAPON!"

"Damn, well let's go do something."
"Prepare the Foo Fighter, boss?"
"Foo Fighter?"
"UFO, boss..."
"UFO??"
"Yes, boss."

"Sure...whatever.."

"Uh boss, bring the Laser Squirrel?"
"THE WHAT....???"

"Uh, Nevermind boss, the Kraken just ate him,..."

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